Page 1 Page 2 Page 3 Page 4 Page 5 Page 6 Page 7 Page 8 Page 9 Page 10 Page 11 Page 12 Page 13 Page 14 Page 15 Page 16 Page 17 Page 18 Page 19 Page 20 Page 21 Page 22 Page 23 Page 24 Page 25 Page 26 Page 27 Page 28 Page 29 Page 30 Page 31 Page 32 Page 33 Page 34 Page 35 Page 36 Page 37 Page 38 Page 39 Page 40 Page 41 Page 42 Page 43 Page 44 Page 45 Page 46 Page 47 Page 48 Page 49 Page 50 Page 51 Page 52 Page 53 Page 54 Page 55 Page 56 Page 57 Page 58 Page 59 Page 60 Page 61 Page 62 Page 63 Page 64 Page 65 Page 66 Page 67 Page 68 Page 69 Page 70 Page 71 Page 72 Page 73 Page 74 Page 75 Page 76Plough Quarterly • Winter 2015 39 facial expressions. Girls and boys who grow up learning from their fathers will be better able to communicate with other males as they enter school and the work world. Not every man needs to be a stereotypical alpha male in order to be a good dad. Nor do mothers need to be the model of June Cleaver. As I explain in my book Secure Daughters, Con- fident Sons: How Parents Guide Their Children into Authentic Masculinity and Femininity, there are a hundred different ways to be a good man and a good woman. Compare Payton Manning and Yo-Yo Ma: two very different ways of being real men. Or contrast Margaret Thatcher and Jacqueline Kennedy: two very different ways of being undeniably female. There is indeed a universal male nature, just as there is a female nature. If the Western world’s effort to de-gender our children has taught us anything, it’s that gender difference is far more than just a social construct. The reality of distinct male and female natures extends far beyond the bedroom and bathroom. It shows itself on the playground, in the community, at the school, and on the street. Both a man and a woman are required for the creation of a new child, and both are equally indispensable for rearing that child. This holds true no matter what continent we live in, or in what century. To deny it is delusional. By building families and a culture that affirm the importance of both fathers and mothers, we can give our children – all of them – the childhood which they are entitled to, which they deserve, and which they require.  curious world of the male, he may turn either hyperviolent or terribly passive. Too often, the result is gangs. Gang members typically don’t have a father to guide them and to let them know that they measure up and can respect themselves. In response, these boys make sure the world recognizes them – by engaging in conscienceless physical violence, intimidation, sexual dominance and opportun- ism, and foolish risk-taking. Mothers can help curb such behavior by their disapproval and broken hearts, but the most powerful and direct cure is an involved dad. Girls can be violent as well, and they too will desire the attention of the opposite sex. Young women who have been mothered and fathered well are dramatically less likely to become victims of their own emotions and sexuality. A young girl who is sexually healthy is one who has learned what it’s like to be properly loved and cared for by a good man. She learns this first and foremost from her father. To such a girl, a man is not a mystery, and so she is less likely to fall for the manipulative advances of opportunistic males. Dads and Language Development Even in terms of language ability, mothers and fathers make different yet essential contribu- tions to a child’s development. A mom is more likely to connect verbally with her children at their own level, using words, phrases, and tones of voice that allow for immediate understand- ing. Dad’s way is different, less tailored to the child’s own speech and often seemingly less successful. I often noticed this when our chil- dren were young. Our child would fall, skin her leg, and start crying. Mom would say, “My goodness, you have a terrible boo-boo.” Dad’s response might be: “That’s quite an abrasion, kid.” Dad’s way provides a vocabulary lesson. In addition, fathers are also more likely to com- municate with non-verbal cues, grunts, and Photograph by Lucy Clement