Page 1 Page 2 Page 3 Page 4 Page 5 Page 6 Page 7 Page 8 Page 9 Page 10 Page 11 Page 12 Page 13 Page 14 Page 15 Page 16 Page 17 Page 18 Page 19 Page 20 Page 21 Page 22 Page 23 Page 24 Page 25 Page 26 Page 27 Page 28 Page 29 Page 30 Page 31 Page 32 Page 33 Page 34 Page 35 Page 36 Page 37 Page 38 Page 39 Page 40 Page 41 Page 42 Page 43 Page 44 Page 45 Page 46 Page 47 Page 48 Page 49 Page 50 Page 51 Page 52 Page 53 Page 54 Page 55 Page 56 Page 57 Page 58 Page 59 Page 60 Page 61 Page 62 Page 63 Page 64 Page 65 Page 66 Page 67 Page 68 Page 69 Page 70 Page 71 Page 72 Page 73 Page 74 Page 75 Page 76 Page 77 Page 78 Page 79 Page 80 Page 81 Page 82 Page 83 Page 84Plough Quarterly • Autumn 2016 55 Some kind of afterlife? In a post-Christian West, there are no longer any accepted answers or structures to help people contend with these questions. The Burden of Being Human Around the world, various groups are calling to make it legal to help end someone’s life in the case of terminal illness. As a nurse who has worked with the dying, I sympathize with the natural desire to avoid unnecessary suffering at the end of life; it’s the same impulse that undergirds palliative care and the hospice movement. There is, however, a spiritual despair at the heart of this call for assisted dying. In a society that celebrates youth, vitality, beauty, and self-determination above all else, the fear of losing these is almost intolerable. Then only despair remains. One’s last act of self-determination becomes to end one’s own existence while one still has the autonomy to do so. How different is the Christian understand- ing of the self. Scripture teaches us that we are not our own: we are Christ’s (1 Cor. 6:19–20). As such, our lives are hugely valuable. It is not for us or anyone else to determine the timing and nature of our deaths. Furthermore, we are not autonomous individuals, but part of a community, an interdependent body (1 Cor. 12:12–13). When one part suffers, all parts suffer. When one part rejoices, all rejoice. This is a community where we are enjoined to “bear one another’s burdens.” Data published by Oregon’s assisted suicide program over the last decade shows that the vast majority of patients cite the fear of being a burden as one of their main reasons for ending their lives early, alongside fear of loss of control earlier. It was what I would call a good death. For Bill and my mother, having the people they loved at hand was the “symptom control” they most wanted. I could set up diamorphine syringes to take the pain and nausea away, turn them regularly to avoid pressure sores, and feed them food they could tolerate and enjoy. All this is essential, basic, and good nursing care. But it was having the people they loved nearby, and sensing that their own lives still had meaning and value, that really made the difference. For my mother, ending her days in the knowledge that she was going to be with her Lord brought tremendous comfort. I cared for Bill for only a few more days before he died naturally. Ian soon saw that Bill was comfortable, and that what he wanted more than anything was to say goodbye to those closest to him. Bill’s family finally came to visit, as did many of his dearest friends, and his dying days were not spent in isolation. When I saw Ian after the funeral, he admitted that if I had let him have his way that Saturday morning, overdosing Bill with diamorphine, this would have denied Bill the chance to say goodbye. It was a better end than Ian had feared, and in the midst of his grief he had the satisfaction of knowing that Bill had died knowing he was loved. Most of the distress people experience at the end of life is ultimately spiritual: that sense of being lost, isolated, fearful, and unsupported; the fear of being a burden on your loved ones, and of uncontrolled symptoms; the grief that your entire life, with all your loves, your hopes, fears, dreams, and ambitions has come down to this small room, this bed where you are going to end your days. And possibly above all, there is the fear about what comes next – oblivion? We are meant to be burdensome to one another.